Regret is a four letter word dressed up as a 6 letter word for a non-stop bad Halloween party. Remember that party, where that guy kept following you around? And you did everything to not talk to him, but there he was. Yeah, that one.

I’m here to tell you that regrets are not necessities. We think they’re natural: “Regrets, I’ve had a few…” Even Sinatra knew not to worry too much over them. But why do we think having the bad thing’s tentacles burrowed into our heart/soul is natural? Our mistakes help make us who we are, they are a part of us–but they are not us.

I think we can learn to stand beside them, even notice them, hello messy divorce…you are in the past, there is nothing I can do about you now. I did the best I could at the time and now I know to listen to my instincts.

Regret wallows.
Regret doesn’t move on or decide to change.
Regret is quicksand.
Regret is blaming yourself.
Regret is all about yourself.
Regret is selfish.
Regret folds you in on yourself.
Regret implodes.
If regret is a verb, it’s a backward one–living in the past.

What is the opposite of regret? Unregretful? That seems callous. Contentedness? Kinda boring. I think we look for the antidote, not the opposite!

The antidote for me is forgiveness.
Usually forgiving myself, but can also involve others.

And mindfulness.
And forward thinking–what am I working toward?

I’ve promised myself to try to make my actions unregrettable (it is too a word!), mindfulness helps, immediate forgiveness helps, accepting responsibility also good. What would you add?

10 thoughts on “Unregrettable.

  1. I strive not to blame myself, or others. Blame wastes time and shifts focus from dealing with the issue, whatever it is, to pinning it on someone.

    I’m not perfect at it, but practice makes me better. At first, I was more willing to extend this courtesy to others than to myself. Lately, though, I’ve gotten more adept at trying to see what can be learned from the places where I fall down…

    I love this post so much, I’m going to share it this Sunday in my weekly recap. =)

    And, the whole time I was reading it, I was hearing Nat King Cole singing “Unregrettable – that’s what you are…”

    Thought you might like to know that! =D

    Liked by 1 person

    • None of us are perfect, right Shanjeniah? But I love that you said practice makes you better and that you’re trying to learn from the “places I fall down.” AND you made me laugh with the Nat King Cole…because, I toyed with putting a picture of him at the top of the blog, for that very same reason!

      Liked by 1 person

      • You, we’re all delightfully imperfect. I hear so many people say, especially to children, that practice makes perfect – and that’s always bugged me because it isn’t true. I tell my kids that practice makes better – it’s more honest.

        Since I know I’ll fall from time to time, it’s better to figure out what I can learn than to bemoan the having fallen down part…

        I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought of that song – I was pretty tired when I read your post! =D

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Amy I just love what you wrote. I think regret is right up there with guilt. Both regret and guilt reside in our past. Those feelings of regret and guilt happen to most of us, if not to all of us. We all know that regret and guilt doesn’t accomplish anything, but sadness. It’s amazing how we continue to allow these feelings to go around and around in our head, like some kind of personal merry go round. It would be great if we could say, Stop, I want to get off…now.

    I love your writing.

    I love you, MOM

    Liked by 1 person

    • MOM! You are so smart–you’re the one who taught me to look at things the way I do. And (of course) you’re right about it not accomplishing anything but sadness. We should write something about our “personal merry-go-rounds,” and how they’re all a part of a scary circus…or something.

      Love you too 🙂


  3. Pingback: The Light at the End of the Tunnel Edition: Second Serving Sunday | shanjeniah

  4. Wow Amy, that was quite profound. And oh so true! Goodness girl you need to keep blogging! And your mom? What a woman! Is she available for adoption? Those are amazing words to live by. Thank you so much for your insight. Have a great holiday weekend! ((Hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Karen! It’s funny, the last blog I had I rarely blogged–probably because I didn’t really know why I was blogging. But now, I love it and want to keep doing it, so your words mean a lot to me. And I know! My mom is super special! She’s a public speaker and an author–and still doing both at 92! That’s my inspirarion!

      Liked by 1 person

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