I guess I’m not done talking about the “hard stuff.” And that’s okay–seems like a meaty subject! Today’s hard stuff is stuff you don’t need though–it’s not the things you should do or want to do, but can’t seem to like I wrote about here.
What if, today, you decided that the hard stuff was just stuff–or that you could move through this formerly known as “hard stuff” with ease and grace?
This seems so much better than hard. Easy is better than hard. Always.
Our days are made up of constant split second and long tedious decisions, the good news is we can choose to decide to walk through these decisions (and life) with ease.
Which can be hard at first–weird, right? Here’s why, we’ve programmed our own unique reactions to stimuli and they are well worn pathways in our brains. Choose any knee jerk reaction, someone cuts you off in traffic–why you bleepity, bleepin, bleeper! Grrrr, now I am mad and will expect other stupid bleepering bleepers to do stupid things to me. BLEEP! ***Or, someone who bothers you wants to tell you how you did something wrong–immediately on the defensive, right?
Choosing a different path means being intentional and thoughtful and that means work. Everything inside of you is saying, “Wait a minute, wait a minute!” (Just like Cher in Moonstruck!) “I know that other way–this way could be dangerous!”
Here are three things that might help you become a conscious responder instead of a knee-jerk reactor:
- Acknowledge the knee jerk reaction. I say to myself, “This is simply my knee jerk reaction, and I am going to look at this another way.”
- Wayne Dyer wrote a lovely book: The Power of Intention. In it he asks: Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Ask yourself that question. I like being right, but I much prefer being happy over being Miss Righty-Tighty Pants…mostly, unless it’s with my 16 year old–then I’m right…mostly.
- Is anyone going to die? I got this line from a librarian I worked with, it reminded us to look realistically at a situation. Usually, no one has died. Nor will they. Things probably aren’t as serious as you think.
bonus: remember, any given situation only lasts a finite amount of time, even ones that seem hard.
When you step beyond the knowledge of something being hard, you open your mind up to different possibilities for problems that need to be worked out, or different emotional outcomes for you (and likely the other person) if it’s a conflict.
I’m sure I’ll find more things to say on this subject, but for now tell me what works for you. How do you get through the “hard stuff?”