How to reStart Doing the Thing(s) You Stopped Doing. Unstick That Stuck.

ring a bell to clear the air

Ring a bell to clear the air, redirect your thoughts and give an angel their wings!

I wondered about my inability to write a blog post…okay, inability is wrong, I’ll do anything but write–paint the bathroom, rearrange my office (although, this might have actually helped me*), vacuum, wash the kitchen floor–my resistance to writing a blog post.

Why was I actively avoiding it? I’ve read The War of Art, I’ve listened to Melissa Dinwiddie’s Podcasts, I’m the daughter of Joan Kennedy for goodness sake! What the ever loving heck?

I wrote in my One Good Cup notebook:

What if I unstick myself in this situation and write about it…maybe I can help someone else in a similar situation.

Clearly much has been written about this before, I am not a pioneer, but I am a pilgrim and a lover of acronyms, sometimes, when they work. And when they seem the only way out of my stuckness! A while ago I made an acronym for S.T.U.C.K. and F.R.E.E.D. I haven’t shared it yet because I’m still playing with it, but my pen wanted to play so I let it!

Scared: This is the main thing, right? Call it scared or resistant–ego gets in the way.

Tired: I wasn’t feeling the zest for the project.

Unmotivated: So, why bother, why make an effort?

Cautious: Don’t want to make the wrong move…should I do this? Or that?

Knowledge (lack of): Who am I to be writing this? Creating this?

(Kind of silly…but it got me excited and motivated to figure out F.R.E.E.D. Plus it was fun–and fun kept me going.)

Feeling: How do I want to feel? I will do the things to support that!

Ring: a bell*. I am not kidding! I rang a bell (repeatedly), plus an angel got their wings!

Eyes: No one sees the world the exact same way I do.

Essential Oils: Of course! Oils can raise my frequency, help me focus & motivate.

Desire: Go back to desire–back to what I love. I have to fall back in love with my project, remember why I started it and what I wanted to accomplish.

*I painted this bell and blinged it out, it stands before me on the window ledge in front of my desk to remind me to keep going!

I’ll be working on this for awhile, you don’t just make up an acronym and change your life (or habits) around! But I know action–movement in the right direction helps, things start to loosen up, an outer shell starts to break away. Just a little bit.

I hope you all are moving forward in whatever your dreams are! Tell me how you stay the course.

 

 

Dress Your Super Power

Say whaaaaat?

Dress your super power, maybe it’s a side of your personality that is dying to get out, maybe it’s a feeling you get when you see someone emulating what you wish you were. Maybe it’s just being able to dress a part, like Halloween but for real life.

#innergoddess

#innerbikerchick

#innerCEO

#innerwitch

#innermermaid

#innerwonderwoman

#innerhippie

#innerbadass

#innersteampunkadventurerprofessor…errr, maybe that one’s just mine

#innerinventor

#innergeek

#innerfairy

The list, of course, is never ending, and isn’t that marvelous–you get to make your own list.

#innerwriterlivinginparis

letting my super powers out

#innergypsycowgirl

See?

If the Law of Attraction has any bearing in your life, you know you have to first feel the way you want your reality to be before that reality is created. So why not dress the part?

Maybe you’re thinking, “uhhh, Amy, how does dressing like a mermaid create my reality?”

Good question. Maybe you want to live a more creative life: write that book, paint that picture, express yourself more openly. Creativity, expression those are your super powers and they come from the second chakra.

SHE’S WRITING ABOUT CHAAAAAKRAS!!!!????

And the second chakra’s element is water…so dressing like a mermaid would in fact align you with water and support your second chakra which allows for our true expression with integrity. Plus, P L U S, there’s a supporting oil for this! Actually, more than one: Patchouli, Jasmine, Yling Yling, Peace and Calming, and Harmony to name a few. These could be diffused, inhaled directly or placed on location (lower abdomen) with intention.

Of course, you don’t need to dive that deep! Maybe you wish you could live your life with more ease, more flow–well what’s more flow-y than a mermaid?

Have fun with this! I might start Instagramming my #innerWHATEVER…

What’s your inner super power and how could you dress like it?

 

How To Take Over Your Life!

Easy steps to a brilliant life!

Has this happened to you? You’re strolling along–actually, not strolling, you’re rushing along through your life–get up, get kid up, off to school, get to work, EMAILS, drama, EMAILS, more drama, plus emergencies, rush home, dinner, dishes, drama, dog for walk, treadmill (because, uh, the walk wasn’t really enough)…PHEW! By this time all you’re ready for is some veg time with some quality Netflix.

Repeat.

Is it any wonder we forget our dream, our aspirations, even our day to day goals? Also, WTH? Clearly, this is my routine–give or take–on any given day, but I bet you have some rendition of this, if you don’t, you can stop reading.

We are supposed to LIVE our life–not be swept away by it!

This is a lesson I learn repeatedly. I’m not beating myself up over it, because I understand each time I Re-learn it a little more sticks. The other day, I got to work and didn’t check my emails. I sat down with a cup of coffee and a notepad and sat. Some of you might be familiar with my One Good Cup project–if not you can read about it HERE–but this was different, this was a work related one good cup.

This was to create space for me to be able to plan what I wanted to get done that day. And it was marvelous. I’m toying with the idea of adding an automatic reply on my work email–something like, “thanks for your email, just so we’re clear, I read my emails at 10:00, 1:00, and 4:00. If you need an immediate answer, call me, thanks.” Just kidding. Here’s the other reason I loved taking the time to think about my work day: it made me ENJOY my work day! I know!

I am firmly in the camp of, if you want to create something awesome, you have to feel like you are in awesomeland now.

I was gifted a Planner this year…it’s a marvelous, beautiful, makes you think about what you reallyreallyreally want kind of Planner. Everyone should have this kind of Planner. I plan. And then, even better, I do! I’m not perfect by any means, or, I should say, yet! But making progress on things makes me want to make more progress.

Which brings me to the first rule:

The more energy you give to something the more energy builds around it. You’ve experienced this, I know you have, whether for good or bad.

And now the second:

Working toward what you want shouldn’t feel like work! Okay, I’m not saying it might not be a lot of work, but it should be joyful work!

Let’s hear it for the third:

Uh…you don’t actually have to have complete clarity on what you want to start working toward! Amazing, I know. But, you see, the better you feel and the more cool energy you put toward anything, well, great things actually feel obligated to come to you…and then once you get great things other things become clearer.

And, I-am-the-Fourth rule:

Take time for yourself, your life, your dreams. T a k e  t i m e. M a k e  s p a c e. Good things come in the gaps.

There are way more rules–laws, actually–but you get to make them up as you go.

Tell me about your dreams and plans. How are you taking over your life?

 

 

 

3 Ways to Dress Your Best (most fun and favoritest) Self

Have you ever looked at old pictures and wondered what the hell you were thinking wearing those pastel striped pants? Or, is that only me?

Yes I have a picture of myself in pastel striped pants, no, I will not post it here! I dubbed them my “clown pants” because, well, they made me look like I escaped from a circus.

Was that really the way I wanted to look, or was it easy and maybe comfy and no thought had to be involved? Yeah, I’m thinking all three of those.

Now, think about a picture or a time when you were wearing something that made you feel fabulous–something that garnered compliments from others, something that made you feel like your favorite self, your true self.

Don’t you wish you could have that feeling more often? Of having your inside self be your outside self, or maybe having your outside self help your inside self get where she wants to be?

Look, I know looks aren’t everything, neither are clothes or shoes or jewelry. But they sure the heck can make me feel good!

I have recently come to the conclusion that the reason I adore Halloween is it allows me to dress like parts of my inner self.

  • Sometimes I’m all connected with the power of magic and I like to dress as the personification of that by donning a pointy hat and wearing black and holstering a magic wand.
  • Sometimes my magic comes through in a different way, with bright colors and scarves and lots of jewelry.
  • And other times I like to be the adventurer, the seeker of knowledge, so I dress in vests and goggles, with plenty of gadgets at my waist…you get the idea.

All these “costumes” are really my fun inside me shining through to my outside.

In extreme.

But, once I figured out why I liked to dress up for Halloween I figured out how I could always have fun while dressing as the “me” I was on any given day. And in case you missed it, the operative word is FUN.

FIRST: 

LOVE your clothes. I am not even kidding, why wear meh when you could wear YES!? This is a tough one–people gift us with things we feel obligated to wear, right? All the time! And if it’s our child, we feel even more obligated, ouch.

So here are some scripts I am gifting to you:

Thank you! (yup, that’s it. If you rarely see them, just say thank you and then return it, if you do see them all the time, explain you had to exchange it, as it was too small, there was a small hole, it didn’t look right on you, and leave it at that)

Okay, I only had one script for you–Thank you. It’s really the best though, unless your husband gives you a brown fleece zip up jacket, then you say, “Really? Fleece? I will never ever wear fleece.” But that’s not the greatest script.

SECOND:

Do not own too many clothes. Once again, I am not even kidding. You dilute your wardrobe with too much detritus. I always need to relearn this one, I love going through my clothes at the change of seasons–I actually see what I have, I decide if I still L.O.V.E. each thing and if anything needs attention.

Have you ever shopped in a store where you could barely move the clothes on the rack to see the next item? Well that’s what happens in your closet–too many clothes EQUALS “I have nothing to wear.”

THIRD:

Have fun. F U N. Add things that make you smile. That give you joy. I have an off white scarf with pink skulls on it.

I adore that scarf–and I love to wear it with pearls, that’s part of my fun with clothes, a sense of irony. I add two or three pins to my jacket du jour–a cameo and a name crest and an old school girl scout pin (they don’t have to match, but there could be one thing about them that ties them together).

I usually try to keep FUN to accessories, but sometimes it crosses over to actual clothing–the only thing to be careful of with FUN articles of clothing is they might not actually GO with anything. I have an awesome gauzy shirt.

But I can wear this with jeans, black dress pants, I also wear different shells under it, black, orange, green–that changes the look of it.

That’s it. For now. Next time I touch on style I’ll dive more into the “themed” dressing, aka a Halloween closet.

What’s your biggest wardrobe style challenge?

THERE ARE NO RULES

The following is a post from my old blog, but I like it and actually I needed to relearn it! So, here it is:

Twice yesterday I received the message, “there are no rules.” Once from *The Universe (I am not even kidding, we’ll talk more on that later!) and once from a newsletter I subscribe to. The first, actually said, “there are no rules.” My shoulders relaxed. The second time, it was more of a message gleaned from, “You’re never going to get there by trying to get there. There is no path you just need to find…”

My brain did one of those fast action thoughts, all jumbly and toppling over each other: wait, so all those marketing techniques, and sales funnels, and Pinterest analytics I’ve been searching for and stressing about, all these outside “rules” don’t mean anything?

It’s up to me to create the way I want to do this.

It is up to me.

Pretty heady stuff–there’s definitely responsibility attached to “it’s up to me.” I’m responsible for my own stuff. Right?  There are no rules does not mean there is no working your ass off. It means you decide how the work is done and what kind of work you do and most importantly why you’re doing the work.

And, when I say “work” I don’t necessarily mean your job, unless that’s what you want it to mean, because this can work for work, but it can work for your life too.

So, there is a load of personal responsibility with “there are no rules” but there is sweet sweet freedom too.

I stopped writing for a while–nearly everything–the manuscript I was working on, my blog posts, Facebook updates, even tweets were too much for me to muster, because I thought I was doing them wrong. My tweets weren’t as clever as this person’s, my blog was nothing like that much more successful person’s, my book will never touch another person the way this author’s books do…

And so I just stopped. When I tried to be like these other people (follow their rules) it didn’t work, it came out flat, I felt like a fraud (duh). So I stopped trying and stopped writing. How sad.

DIGRESSION ALERT:

When I first became a supervisor a few years ago, I struggled. Not that I couldn’t do the work, I could. I struggled with what kind of a supervisor to be–I read books (not the right ones!) I took webinars (blech!) I went to classes (okay) and yet every single day I walked into work nearly sad, shoulders slumped, and with no idea who I was.

And it wasn’t until I was having a random conversation with one of my nephews (thank you Nick!) where I said: “I don’t like being a supervisor, I don’t know how I’m supposed to be one.”

and he said: “Amy, they hired you for who you are. Be you.”

Shoulders relaxed.

“oh.”

This opened up my world. I fell back into me. I stopped TRYING to be a boss, and instead became me again–really good at all things circulation, kind of goofy, really happy, laughing a lot, expecting great things from the team. I led by example and made my expectations clear, I also admitted my weaknesses. And I was okay again, hell, I was great.

My point is:

stop trying to live up to who you are not.

stop trying to to follow a set of made-up rules that maybe worked for some other person, but sure the heck are not working for you.

Be you and make your own rules.

(Unless you are a serial killer, and you are trying not to be one, then, yes, please keep trying.)

(Also, this isn’t a free keep smoking card.)

But the word “try” is so damned full of I-probably-won’t-succeed-and-then-I’ll-have-to-FRACKIN-try-mofo-try-again, and that just feels deflating and long and icky.

There are no rules

Freedom, not anarchy, but freedom to create from who you are to get you to who your best self is.

FREE

*future me again, this was before I finished The Desire Map–and really understood what my core desired feelings would end up being.

I’m reading Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map. AWESOME book, (fantastic website) helps you figure out not the tangible goals for your life but how you want to feel–and then figure out how to feel that. So, one of my core desired feelings is free, I want to feel free. Free to work how I want, at what I want, free to take the day off and hang with my kids or my mom or anyone. Free to not worry.

After I read: there are no rules, I realized freedom (free) is not something I have to reach for, I already have it. I just needed to recognize where in my life it existed. Sure, I’d like it in more aspects of my life (can you say, fly to Paris?) but that is a huge part of manifesting something–already believing you have it, to find examples in your life now and then to focus on it and love it and really feel it–which will bring more of it to you. Holy Shootzky.

*Now, as promised, here’s my Note from the Universe:

 So, are there any made-up rules are you’d like to stop following?

SANCTUARY! WHY WE NEED IT AND HOW TO KEEP IT.

This is a re-post of mine from our old blog!

I was crabby.Crabby, crabby, crabby. Like not talking crabby and snapping at people (family people) when I did talk. And totally in my head. Yuck.

Why was I crabby? Work. ‘Nuff said. Luckily, my husband called me on it. He said, “This isn’t work, this is our home and it’s supposed to be a sanctuary. This is where we go to leave all the crap behind. This is where people love you.” Okay, first he said, “What the hell?” Then he said the cool stuff.

Aaaah, I brought all the crap from work and pretty much placed it on the kitchen table and said, “Here, eat this.” Not good.

Now, I’m a pretty happy gal, but when things bother me, they REALLY bother me, yet it so wasn’t fair to my family to be bitchy with them when they weren’t the fracking problem, plus being crabby and bitchy and unhappy SUCKS. The question was though, how was I going to leave my work drama at work?

So, I’ve been experimenting with some decompression stuff. Such as:

  • Listening to a book on CD during my commute home
  • Essential oils*
  • Be intentional–before walking through front door: this is my sanctuary, and I will not shit where I eat.
  • Think about the day and then set it aside.
  • Florence and the Machine, because, Shake It Out.

When I leave work at work and give myself over to being my best me for my family and friends, it’s not just better for them it’s better for me too. It feels good to not be mired in my head with crap. It feels good to smile and listen and laugh.

*Essential oils are my first choice for most things: colds, bug bites, can’t fall asleep, need to wake up, have to speak in front of 50 people…anything. So, it’s funny that I didn’t think of using them in my car a long time ago. I’m making caromas (did you see what I did there?) hangy doo-dad thingies (I’m working on a name) Here are some (awesomely shaped) pictures:

It’s definitely a prototype! but I like that I can pull the corks off the magnates to add more essential oils. Right now we are enjoying the scents of Peppermint and Lemon Young Living Essential Oils. Plus, just looking at it reminds me to leave the crap behind.

Addendum: I’ve made much more streamlined ones now!

image

These will be for sale at an upcoming Make & Take!

How about you, what’s you’re decompression trick(s)?

Fashion Has Nothing to do With Style

I come by the love of style honestly–we’re talking clothes style here–my mom was the Fashion Coordinator for a large Department Store in the late 60s and early 70s. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?! Just let all that mash-up of Mod and Hippie soak in for a sec. Okay, cool.

My mom could pull off a purple mini dress with green tights because she believed she could. She once wore a pink brocade full length vest over an off white pant suit and topped it off with a pink wig to go to the Guthrie Theater. PURE GENIUS. Unfortunately not ONE photo was taken.

Now, she rocks purple and pink feathers in her non-GMA hair.

my stylish 93 year old mother

At 93 my mother has more style than most 50 year olds. Why is this? Okay, she was a model, and then a housewife, and a mother, and then a divorced woman who needed to make a living–she didn’t think she “knew” how to do anything, but she knew fashion.

So now fast forward 45 years when most of her peers are wearing kitten sweatshirts she’s still rocking leather boots, leggings, and a tunic sweater. Why? Sure she was a model, 70+ years ago, and worked in fashion, 40+ years ago. But why so stylish now? So I asked her…

Me: Why does personal style matter to you?                                                                                                                      Joan: When I’m wearing clothes that are my personal style, I feel comfortable and
confident. I feel good and I know I look good.
.
Me: How would you describe your personal style?
Joan: My personal style has not changed over the years. My style is classic. I
change the look with new accessories. (I would add, her accessories are pretty fearless)

Me: What is the one piece you never want to be without in your closet?
Joan: A black suit, because you will always have something to wear. You can dress it up or down, wear it with a sweater,blouse, scarves, pearls. It’s the one thing you can depend on to take you anywhere.

Me: When you’re dressed for (whatever), what feeling do you have, or are you
dressing for a certain feeling?
Joan: I dress, first of all, to look good and to feel good. I don’t want to think about
what I’m wearing, once I’m dressed.

Me: Who is your style icon?
Coco Chanel. (Chanel made more changes in women’s fashion, then any
designer since. She designed the first little black dress, costume jewelry, and
twin sweaters. She used jersey for dresses and skirts. (at the time, jersey was only
used for men’s underwear!) Coco Chanel thought outside of the fashion box.

Me again, my mom says, “Don’t compare fashion with style–fashion is what’s happening in designers’ showrooms and on runways. Style comes through self acceptance and dressing for yourself.”

That statement is the crux of this series on finding a personal style and owning it. Look for many more posts (with pics) starting the third Monday of every month (we may end up doing more, because it’s fun!).

Do you have a personal style? Do you wish you had a personal style?