Fashion Smashion–Does This Make Me Feel Happy?

Look, I love to flip through an In-Style or Vogue once in awhile–and I love to see what everyone’s wearing on the red carpet, but I am not a slave to fashion.

I am a happiness warrior. For others as well as for myself–you will be happy, dammit!

Which also means, I like to wear my happiness on my sleeve, shall we say. We shall! And by sleeve I mean all my clothing appendages. I try to always wear things that bring me joy, why wouldn’t I? I mean we all can use as much help as we can get–so let your clothes help you a little, wear the hot pink jacket, put on the floppy hat, the metallic belt, the punk rock boots, do it–maybe even all at once!

I never believed the adage “clothes make the woman,” but now I wonder if maybe clothes help make the woman happier.

Sometimes I help folks with their closets, there are times I might say, “Nope, that has to go.” but there are more times that I ask, “Do you feel good wearing it?” And if the answer is, “Yes.” well then they keep it. Simple as that.

We get so hung-up on “but it was a gift,” or “it will fit me as soon as I lose the weight,” but those aren’t the answers to the question:

Do you feel good wearing it NOW. You know the answer, you do.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to pick out an article of clothing (or a whole darn outfit) that makes you feel good. And then wear it!

Supporting oil: Joy

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Hopelessly Devoted to You

 

Who are you hopelessly devoted to?

Child

Lover

Partner

Parent

Sibling

Friend…

What about yourself?

Did that make you feel a little squeemy? (It’s a word.) A whole lot selfish, or maybe you think I’m selfish for even asking the question.

Well let me tell you why I ask this; I was feeling lost in my own life a while back. Like, reading the lines and entering on cue but not part of the writing team, not a producer or a director. It got me thinking: if I don’t care about my role, I don’t care about anything.

We all know this: you have to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else.

We know it, but do we believe it? And if we do, do we really understand the depth of what it means to love yourself? It’s not something we do by rote, like answering the priest with our, “thy will be done” said without any conviction or awareness. Yeah, yeah…love myself unconditionally. Got it.

No. I didn’t get it. Or, rather, I forgot it. We have to fall in love with ourselves again. I’m not talking Narcissism, that is definitely not what I’m talking about.

This is not about seeking attention from others.

This is about paying attention to who you are and honoring that.

Devotion. I love that word, it makes me feel all gushy and intentional. It’s my core desired feeling for Creativity and Learning, one of five areas of our life Danielle LaPorte writes about in The Desire Map. But now I see it’s how I want to feel about myself, my whole self too. And not just feel it, I want it to be a verb for my life.

Merriam-Webster’s definition of Devoted: having strong love or loyalty for someone or something.

Maybe if you’re still feeling squeemy about being hopelessly devoted to yourself you could swallow being loyal to yourself–it reminds me of Shakespeare’s “To thine own self be true…” Be loyal to yourself and the things that are important to you.

For me, the first step in being loyal to myself is remembering who I want to be, and honoring that–making steps toward that next higher version of me.

How does this look?

The first thing I did was start saying affirmations. I am not even kidding.

Actually, the first thing I did was decide on the affirmations I wanted–what changes did I want to see? Those became the basis for my affirmations, then I wrote them,

…and then I let them languish

…and then I found them and rewrote them

…and then I said, “You are gonna start doing this today, dagnabbit! And you are committing to a year of living affirmatively! Ha!”

And then I started saying them. Every day. Out loud. Five times each.

I keep a Bullet Journal and in it I made a mini daily accomplishment thingy and affirmations are one of my daily goals–I really really like seeing all the boxes colored-in for saying them.

Then some little things started to happen, then some other things…one thing that happened was I spoke in front of an audience of about 125 people with my sister, and I wasn’t heart-pounding nervous–I had fun doing it.

One of my affirmations is: I’m an excellent speaker, logical, well prepared, and completely at ease in front of any group. I’d been repeating that 5 times a day out loud for 2 1/2 months.

I’ve been re-energized to do the things that move me forward and bring me joy–like writing and exercising, like being re-committed to helping folks support their health and happiness through essential oils Young Living

This is a continuous effort and a re-commitment every darn day (and evening).

I’m going to continue this conversation in upcoming posts–because its important and there’s lots to say!

What one thing could you start doing to show your devotion (loyalty) to yourself?

 

Young Living Distributer #933549

 

 

Muscle Memory

Have you ever noticed how, when you stop doing something good, like: writing, drawing, dancing, exercising, meditating, delivering a baby,* even if you start to want to do it again, your “this is so good for my soul” muscle says, “um… sorry, no.”

*Of course I have to tell you the story of the interruption of delivering a baby…

1987: I was in the birthing room with my sister, (husband was there, but had a hard time with that kind of thing) things are progressing smoothly, this was my second child plus my sister was my breathing coach. As I was transitioning, we’re talking full blown labor, dilated to 10, the nurse comes in to check and she says:

“You can’t push yet, the doctor isn’t here.”

In case you’ve never experienced labor, my ENTIRE essence, all my cells, everything was on the only mission there was–which was to push with each contraction, each contraction that were now from finish of one to the start of the next probably 30 seconds apart. Every 30 seconds and lasting for 60-90 seconds the MAIN DIRECTIVE was to push my baby out.

The nurse said:

“Do your breathing exercises.”

When your body is trying to turn inside-out and someone tells you to “breath” to get through it, many bad thoughts about that person flit through your head…luckily, my sister was there and she really did coach me to breath the right way–because, also, when the whole body inside-out thing happens, you really do forget how to breath, at least how to breath the right way for that circumstance.

S L O W F O R W A R D 30 minutes…the doctor is in!

All-righty, let’s get this show on the vaginal canal road!

Except, I had interrupted the natural “body in motion” of child birth, I had stalled it and now, my body said, “um…sorry, no.”

Eventually I did give birth, but the fact that I could stop a natural process and then not be able to simply, naturally, begin again was, to say the least, disheartening–I felt like some kind of birthing failure. I didn’t understand this at the time, but when I think about it now I admit I wonder what hope I have with any process whose habit I haven’t sustained?

I don’t have an easy answer for this–wish I did! We all need to come to our own way, maybe you need a “coach”–my sister helped me “not deliver” but then she was able to coach me back to the natural state of labor and delivery.

Maybe you need to remember why you’re here–I’m here to have a gosh-darn baby, today, for cripe’s sake! Dagnabit!

What ever it is, the first thing is realization that you’re NOT doing something you want to be doing–don’t worry about why you’re no longer doing it, don’t even worry about how you’re going to start again–not once did I think, well, geeze, how am I going to get back to wanting to push.

You do need to find your WHY for DOING IT. I wanted my baby in my arms. And it helps to find a coach, whether that’s someone you admire online, from a book, or it’s a real relationship.

I’ve been struggling with why I haven’t re-started the things I want to accomplish and do. I think I’m on to something, and then I let it peter out…I hate when I realize I’ve let something slide. Then, yesterday I saw something, it was a blurb for someone’s book that was going to be published in 11 weeks–11 weeks out, I think is how it read.

And something clicked. 11 weeks. What if I made a plan based on the outcomes I wanted in 11 weeks? And then sort of worked backward, what would I need to accomplish everyday, week and month? And what if I made my mom be my coach. (off-topic, we’ve been talking about creating a Master-mind group–cool, huh?) She hasn’t actually said yes yet…

I wrote out a rough draft, then I re-wrote it, I created landings–as in every Sunday, plan out the week, every night plan out the next day, NO TV until all goals for that day are done. This is my first day in my 11 week journey and I’ve hit three of my 5 goals for the day so far. Yippee!

By the way, semi-off topic: I believe our hearts have a muscle memory too–the more we practice/act open-hearted the more we are open-hearted.

My supporting oils for today: Young Living’s Abundance, it smells like everything-I-want-to-accomplish-is-done, ha!

Please share something you realized you’ve stopped doing that you’d like to start again.

Life is Like a Handful of Magic Beans

Magic Beans:

Everyone else thinks they’re crap and nothing happens until you plant them!

I am the queen, nay empress, of handfuls of magic beans:

  • hey, look at these beans, aren’t they cool? Not really. Oh. ~~~~Garbage
  • hey, look at these beans, what should I do with these beans? You should set those beans aside and concentrate on this solidly boring thing over here. Oh. ~~~~Garbage.
  • hey, look at these beans, should we move forward with these? Yes, and I shall take all the credit. Oh~~~~shit…those were my beans!
  • hey, look at these beans… They’re stupid. Oh. ~~~~Garbage.

Are you like me, always asking other people what they think about your magic beans, or asking them what you should do with your magic beans? Or maybe you’re just holding onto your magic beans–no one gets to see them! Including you!

Well. Stop it. Now. I mean it.

And when I tell you to stop it, I’m actually telling myself to stop it. It’s just easier to tell you to stop. And you probably need to hear it too.

To be fair, magic beans make other people nervous–people around you who don’t know what the heck to do with their own magic beans, let alone want to hear about yours.

Become comfortable with your MBs. If you’re not sure about ’em, who will be? Not until you’re comfortable with them yourself, and you’ve found a spot to grow them, and you’ve tended them for a while and not, you know, let them whither and die because you were too busy…

Clearly, magic beans are ideas–not just any ideas, not those ideas you freely scatter all over and if someone thinks it stinks, so be it. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. Magic Beans are not those, they are the ideas that wake you up at night, those ideas you can’t shake. The big ideas. The ideas that if someone says stinks, you’ll be crushed. Yeah, those ideas.

Again, what to do, what to do. Get an idea buddy, not a “yes” woman, but someone who is there to help you flesh out the idea, not to squash, but maybe to question and hold space for your accountability–its a reciprocal relationship, you’d be there for them in the same capacity. Put it on your calendar, bi-weekly, or monthly meetings specific to ideas (magic beans ;)), hold space for incubation and idea formation, and have faith in yourself.

Here’s to MBBs: may you find one and may you be one.

If you’re willing to share, I’d love to be an honorary MBB, tell us your big idea! Amy

 

 

Found Beauty

The beauty of a woman is an intangible thing.

Not found in a particular shape or a certain color.

Not the tilt of her eyes

or the curve of her lips.

The beauty of a woman

is found in her holding space

for her sorrows and yours.

The beauty of a woman

is found in her quiet and laughter

her misery and joy.

The beauty of a woman is felt more than seen.

The beauty of a woman is her reflection of the world back to you.

 

Please visit more Beauty of a Woman blogfest posts here!

How to reStart Doing the Thing(s) You Stopped Doing. Unstick That Stuck.

ring a bell to clear the air

Ring a bell to clear the air, redirect your thoughts and give an angel their wings!

I wondered about my inability to write a blog post…okay, inability is wrong, I’ll do anything but write–paint the bathroom, rearrange my office (although, this might have actually helped me*), vacuum, wash the kitchen floor–my resistance to writing a blog post.

Why was I actively avoiding it? I’ve read The War of Art, I’ve listened to Melissa Dinwiddie’s Podcasts, I’m the daughter of Joan Kennedy for goodness sake! What the ever loving heck?

I wrote in my One Good Cup notebook:

What if I unstick myself in this situation and write about it…maybe I can help someone else in a similar situation.

Clearly much has been written about this before, I am not a pioneer, but I am a pilgrim and a lover of acronyms, sometimes, when they work. And when they seem the only way out of my stuckness! A while ago I made an acronym for S.T.U.C.K. and F.R.E.E.D. I haven’t shared it yet because I’m still playing with it, but my pen wanted to play so I let it!

Scared: This is the main thing, right? Call it scared or resistant–ego gets in the way.

Tired: I wasn’t feeling the zest for the project.

Unmotivated: So, why bother, why make an effort?

Cautious: Don’t want to make the wrong move…should I do this? Or that?

Knowledge (lack of): Who am I to be writing this? Creating this?

(Kind of silly…but it got me excited and motivated to figure out F.R.E.E.D. Plus it was fun–and fun kept me going.)

Feeling: How do I want to feel? I will do the things to support that!

Ring: a bell*. I am not kidding! I rang a bell (repeatedly), plus an angel got their wings!

Eyes: No one sees the world the exact same way I do.

Essential Oils: Of course! Oils can raise my frequency, help me focus & motivate.

Desire: Go back to desire–back to what I love. I have to fall back in love with my project, remember why I started it and what I wanted to accomplish.

*I painted this bell and blinged it out, it stands before me on the window ledge in front of my desk to remind me to keep going!

I’ll be working on this for awhile, you don’t just make up an acronym and change your life (or habits) around! But I know action–movement in the right direction helps, things start to loosen up, an outer shell starts to break away. Just a little bit.

I hope you all are moving forward in whatever your dreams are! Tell me how you stay the course.

 

 

Dress Your Super Power

Say whaaaaat?

Dress your super power, maybe it’s a side of your personality that is dying to get out, maybe it’s a feeling you get when you see someone emulating what you wish you were. Maybe it’s just being able to dress a part, like Halloween but for real life.

#innergoddess

#innerbikerchick

#innerCEO

#innerwitch

#innermermaid

#innerwonderwoman

#innerhippie

#innerbadass

#innersteampunkadventurerprofessor…errr, maybe that one’s just mine

#innerinventor

#innergeek

#innerfairy

The list, of course, is never ending, and isn’t that marvelous–you get to make your own list.

#innerwriterlivinginparis

letting my super powers out

#innergypsycowgirl

See?

If the Law of Attraction has any bearing in your life, you know you have to first feel the way you want your reality to be before that reality is created. So why not dress the part?

Maybe you’re thinking, “uhhh, Amy, how does dressing like a mermaid create my reality?”

Good question. Maybe you want to live a more creative life: write that book, paint that picture, express yourself more openly. Creativity, expression those are your super powers and they come from the second chakra.

SHE’S WRITING ABOUT CHAAAAAKRAS!!!!????

And the second chakra’s element is water…so dressing like a mermaid would in fact align you with water and support your second chakra which allows for our true expression with integrity. Plus, P L U S, there’s a supporting oil for this! Actually, more than one: Patchouli, Jasmine, Yling Yling, Peace and Calming, and Harmony to name a few. These could be diffused, inhaled directly or placed on location (lower abdomen) with intention.

Of course, you don’t need to dive that deep! Maybe you wish you could live your life with more ease, more flow–well what’s more flow-y than a mermaid?

Have fun with this! I might start Instagramming my #innerWHATEVER…

What’s your inner super power and how could you dress like it?