LOVE BRAVELY

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I was invited to a Bridal Shower. I had the gifts and the card, all I needed was something other than last years Christmas wrapping aka a gift bag.

Have I ever told you how I hate to spend too much on things that might get thrown away? Like 7.99 on a birthday card…I don’t think so, I’d rather throw in another mini Lego set, thank you very much. Well the same goes for gift bags–I mean, I re-purpose and reuse, but what if you don’t?

So, I’m in Target looking for a gift bag that’s just right and won’t cost an arm or a leg…nothin’.

But then I saw this one bag with perfect colors and the size was right…okay, also, it was on sale.

“Live Bravely”

Yes! Live Bravely is a good command, or, you know, suggestion, maybe not the best slogan for a bridal shower–and suddenly, I knew what I would do (you probably do to if you looked at the photo :))

I would change “live” to “love” because, let’s face it, you have to be pretty fricken brave to love someone, especially with the “till death do you part” business thrown in. Yet, if you go into it knowing you should LOVE bravely, well, that puts a whole new spin on relationships, yes?

Loving bravely is all about truth

And vulnerability (yes, it is)

And accepting your significant other’s truth and vulnerabilty

Showing ourselves can be scary, and accepting someone else’s truth and vulnerability is not exactly for the faint of heart. No, it is for the brave of heart. ❤ ❤ ❤

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The Funny Thing About Problems…and what to do about them

I accidentally drove past my childhood home this past weekend and it was tiiiiiiiny! I mean it was a normal sized house, just not the size I remember. And the vast side yard? A quarter of the size I remember. There were still pine trees in the front yard but the lower branches had been cut and you could see the house–the small house–from the street.

What was this?

The busy wide street that went around the lake at the end of our street wasn’t busy or wide–no wonder my mom and dad let me cross it and ride my bike on it!

All this got my thinking about problems (hang in there with me) and how we carry them around with us. And with all their aspects and complexities they can seem daunting and gnarly and BIG.

But, what if they are all just childhood homes and if you could get a “grown-up” perspective you’d see they are not insurmountable. To be clear, I am not talking about health (disease, addictions, or the loss of a loved one). I’m talking about work or coworker problems, stuck in traffic, I hate change problems. Those day to day (and some not so day to day) problems that we build into oversize childhood houses (childmansions). I bet even if you grew up in a mansion and then moved away (as a child) it’s not as big as you remember. I feel like the only time this wouldn’t work is if you continue living in your childhood home–it and you continually right-size each other.

So. How to get that “grown-up” perspective:

First: Recognize that your problem may not be as big (or as bad) as you first thought. A great way to do this is to ask yourself a question: Is this as big as I think it is? Just asking the question gets you out of stuck mode and readies your brain for something different.

Second: Take your problem out for a viewing, this will give you a different perspective–you can’t just continue to hold it and turn it over and over, it wasn’t until I drove past the house and saw it that I realized its actual size.

  • So, get it down on paper–yup, work–writing something down helps. Words on the page can create new pathways in your brain. Maybe you’ll see something you hadn’t before.
  • Talk to someone, not someone who’s heard you complain about it, or worse yet shares in your complaint, you’ll only end up in a bitch session with no forward motion! Lay it out with: I’m wondering if I can talk to you about something I’m trying to get a new perspective on?

Third: List one or two small things you could do immediately to feel better. Maybe its redirecting, so, if you’re always triggered by a coworker (or your boss) prepare for it, tell yourself they may say something that sets you off, but you are in control of how you react. Ask to talk (if your problem is with a person) to them without blame. NO: you always do this. YES: It makes me feel or I feel.

I hope this helps you deal a little easier with something or someone.

Thinking As If…

practically magic Amy Kennedy Fosseen

Are you afraid of how great the thing you want to do would be if you actually did it?

Does just thinking about it scare you?

Aren’t we hilarious–oooh, I’d like to do that, I think I might even be great at that…or, you know, maybe okay at it…I mean, I wouldn’t even know how to start. WHAT am I even thinking! I mean, AS IF!

As if. What if you took your “as if” denial and turned it on its head and you started to act:

as if you were already there

as if you were doing that thing you wanted to do

as if you believed

Think as if

Believe as if

Act as if

I’m not saying it’s one step from doubt to reality, but you have to start somewhere, or actually if you want to stay right where you are, you don’t HAVE to do anything.

Just like you’re doing now.

Nothing.

Crap.

I hate it when that happens. But, to be the you who creates the cool sh*t and creates the mind-blowing stuff takes work.

It starts with inside work–its an inside job, an interior renovation…you get the picture. And, like I said, the first thing is the thought–to think as if.

And the easiest way to start this is through, our friends, affirmations. I am not even kidding.

Now, I know how some affirmations can feel like bold-faced lies, because no matter how many times you say, I love myself unconditionally, if one of your first thoughts that morning was, I’m such an idiot! you are so not going to believe your words–because  you are not feeling the emotion that needs to accompany them. Adding four little words to the beginning of almost any affirmation will get you to the believing portion of this plan:

It feels good to…

Because, I bet at least once in your life you’ve felt creative, confident, talented, and accomplished. Even if it was in second grade Art class–hold that feeling, that truth as you say the words:

It feels good to love myself unconditionally

It feels good to create art that people want

It feels good to be confident

“It feels good to…” keeps it in the present yet makes it more palatable for those of us who have an affirmation of: I am an excellent and productive writer, I write every day and get my projects done–with the background thoughts of:

Gee, I didn’t write yesterday and wasn’t I going to brainstorm another scene…when was the last time I wrote?

LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!

And then my pants are on fire. Dang. I hate it when that happens.

But–I know with my whole being that it does, indeed, feel good to be a productive writer, so that way I’m all in, I’m living in belief city. And then every time there is proof of the “feel good to” it is further embedded in my subconscious. Yay!

We all can get there, I promise.

Next blog: A Little Less Talk and a Lot More Action! What comes after affirmations.

Today’s supporting oil:

Abundance

 

 

 

 

Affirmations, Your Easy Button For Your Best Life

My mother,  Joan Kennedy has been saying daily affirmations for, gee, 50+ years, she’s been speaking and writing about the benefits of daily affirmations for 40+ years, I always listened to my mom and have been wowed by her public speaking talks for 30+ years. How long do you think I’ve been saying daily affirmations? Less than 1 year. Yup.

How does that happen? I liked what I heard and read from my mom (and others) and I saw firsthand how saying daily affirmations changed her life, and yet, I never made a habit of affirmations for myself until December of 2016. I think it was for a number of reasons:

  1. Why say them when I know how I wanted my life to be?
  2. What if I come up with WRONG affirmations?
  3. Tra-la-la…life happening, forget all about intentional living and affirmations…
  4. I’ll feel stupid saying them out loud–someone will make fun of me.
  5. What if I affirm something and nothing happens?

Honestly, there were probably more “reasons”–I can think of millions of reasons NOT to do something beneficial–but what finally convinced me was an idea I had about blogging on “My year of living affirmatively.” Welp, if I were going to blog about that, I had better start affirming. I’ve written a little about this, deciding to start, writing the affirmations, not doing anything with them, finding them again, re-writing them, and finally, finally starting to say them.

I found the easiest thing for me, was to say them in my car every morning on my way into work, and yes, I say them out loud–and no, I don’t feel stupid, turns out I don’t care, I mean, what do I care if the person in the car next to me thinks I’m talking to myself, I am! I started with maybe 5 affirmations, I did have a cheat sheet, but it didn’t take long at all to memorize them. Once I had the five down, I started adding on, it was an organic process to add affirmations (either ones I’d read from someone else, or others I’d created) and to let some go.

One of my favorite affirmations is: “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” This was created by French Psychologist Emile Coue (1857-1926), at the time, it was called an optimistic autosuggestion. It pretty much encompasses everything, which is why I like it! It was one of the first affirmations my mom told me about, another favorite of hers was/is: “I like myself unconditionally.” Which, some days can be a hard one to believe…on those days, I say: “It feels good to like myself.” Much easier.

The subconscious mind is funny and amazing, which is why affirmations should always be said in the present tense, as if it’s already happened and in a positive way, otherwise your subconscious will be all, oh, you want this thing someday? Errr, I don’t know what that means, must mean never. Instead of: I want one million dollars, say: I am grateful for all the money I have and could ever need in my bank account now. The first example will have your subconscious being all, fine, you will WANT this forever. You’ll be in a perpetual state of “wanting.” Whereas the second gets you in gratitude and opens yourself up to all possibilities.

As for the positive aspect, say: I am an excellent salsa dancer, rather than: I am not a klutz. Your subconscious puts a big red line through that word “not”–it only hears: I am a klutz. I don’t know why, besides I’d rather repeat something positive than something negative.

My favorite affirmation at the moment is one I took from the Brandi Carlisle song, That Wasn’t Me:

I make myself a blessing to everyone I meet

Saying this one five times everyday cements it in and in moments when I might not “make myself a blessing…” it’s as if my subconscious slides it into my conscious mind and I remember the me I am trying to be.

supporting oils: Frankincense and Valor

Do you say affirmations? Do you want to start?